All Of A Sudden I Miss Everyone

I've lost alot of friends this year. The year where everybody is supposed to celebrate together. It's fallen into oblivion, and I may have done it to myself.

1. I told my friend that I would be joining a band with my other friends. His interpretation was that I betrayed him because I wasn't going to play music with him as a primary band. I told him I would still play music with him, but apparently this was not enough. Of course, he was the one who was pissed off at the time, and I just allowed him free space until he decided to talk to me again. He didn't.

2. This guy was my best friend. Through the 4-6 years we've gone through together, more thoughts, emotions and words have been exchanged than with any other person (and maybe even every other person combined). It may have been an overdue thing, but I changed, and he didn't. It seemed as if I was making the effort to hold the friendship together, and he repeatedly tore at the thin thread that was holding us together, that I constantly had to re-thread. I wasn't able to deal with it anymore. Extremely overdue? Possibly. Weakness? Maybe. Let's see how you would've dealt with a similar situation first.

3. This friend showed no sympathy around times of extreme distress. It was not his fault, and he was unable to understand through his seemingly unaffected life and undermining of others. Upon an instance of being bitched out, I blocked him on instant messenger, unblocked him occasionally, and allowed him to contact me if he wanted to. Like previous friend #1, he didn't.

4. This friend disappeared behind his own endeavors of greatness. Although it may have been just that, I feel as if I made it very clear to him that I had almost nobody left. Well, no efforts have been made to strengthen our friendship, and I feel as if I had attempted to in the past. This seeming unwillingness to do so felt unfair to me. I did not want to be the only one making an effort in the friendship. He may have potentially thought that it couldn't be so bad, seeing as if he has very few close to him as well as fares pretty well. Of course, there is a special individual he has which I do not have that is the difference between our worlds in terms of social interactions. This friendship has become very sparse.

I had six very important friends in my life. And now, three of them are no longer my friends, one of them has become very disconnected, and another is in New York.