epiphany

i played guitar for 8 hours today. i've always respected those who could do something with pure focus and motivation nonstop, but i learnt that i am not one of those people. i may record or practice for hours at a time, but i cannot do so continuously because the stimulus i seek for my actions to mean anything are more important than the practice. the constant thought about why I need to apply living to my practice is the important part.

these philosophies are not directly represented in the bands i listen to but it is so present. for instance let's take a look at modest mouse. they are the epitome of this idea. isaac brock probably worked for extended durations on songs in one way or another, but his merit stems from everything else he has done, that isn't music related-- it's apparently isaac brock doesn't just sit down and practice guitar all day, and that's ok because so much thought was put into the execution that this tightness is playing is only beneficial situationally (and not in brocks case).

I would consider myself a songwriter and although hard work, perseverance and motivation are all beneficial in many circumstances as a songwriter, they are not as important as what I would describe as hard work (II). Hard work II is essentially the process where an artist is a thinker-- by living, the artist thinks and either subconsciously or consciously determines how to reflect their external stimulus in their lives into their art. Hard work II is not the sitting down and telling yourself not to procrastinate and practice practice practice rudiments, but the frequent hyperawareness of ones surroundings, that is undeniably a difficult thing to bear 100% of the time. Thus hard work II is a state of perpetual work. In one way or another, anybody that is incredibly skilled at anything thinks about that thing all the time; it it ingrained in their essence. however, the difference with the artist utilizing this form of hard work II is that their craft relies on it. thus living needs to be on the forefront: the good, and the bad...

The problem with hard work II is that it is not entirely controllable, but then again in the end everything relies on luck, so I guess it's as controllable as anything else with variable outcomes.

I guess what i am trying to say is that it's important to live. pretty obvious for an artist i guess, but of course hard work I needs to compliment II, especially for someone like me. it's the balancing point that is incredibly difficult to find.