I'm absolutely miserable. I've been thinking about the future, and I've come to a horrible conclusion. If I don't become a successful musician, I'll have to live the rest of my life in mediocre neighborhoods with mediocre housing, and most likely won't have a wife, any sort of family, or kids. I'll probably even need to transfer to a retirement home. If I succeed as a musician, I'll be able to live out my dream, connecting with the hearts and souls of hundreds, and maybe even thousands of individuals.
The reason I doubt my success is the same reason I doubt my academic intellect. Academically, it takes me a longer amount of time than others to learn some material, which really discourages me from learning. I wonder if I have the same learning problem (in comparison) to other musicians. I don't doubt my talent, but I also know that there are many others out there which could outdo me with minimal effort. Will I be able to succeed in a world where talent is bursting at the seams? Will I be able to keep up? These questions taint me every day, and my subconscious answers always fluctuate.
10 years ago
1 comment:
You can sit and think about it all you want, but there's only one thing you can do, I mean, REALLY do, and that's keep playing. It doesn't matter what you think, and how you feel, just as long as you keep playing, and don't quit.
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