The Weekend

Although the weekend is a time for rest, I've been so extraordinarily lazy and useless in the past several weeks that I dread the weekends. I've gone out of a practicing groove, which I definetely need to get back into. First step would be to turn off the computer except for the following purposes: 1. Downloading music 2. Reading Comics 3. Checking Email 4. Blogging. I look forward to the next week, solely for school- and why? Cause I want something to fill up my time so I don't waste it doing the same repetitive things on the computer. This shouldn't be happening, so that's where my No Computer Except For The Following Activities initiation takes place. 

Here's a story.

In the past, I have blogged about how people don't approach each other in high school and thus lose many oppurtunities to make friends and meet people they thought that they could become acquainted with. I felt this way as well. I wasn't comfortable with approaching random people because nobody did it; I had no vantage point or real life experience that could aid me to do something like this (indie movies DO NOT count as real life experiences). 

But I became desperate. In my desperation, I developed courage. Though I had the courage to talk to this certain random girl, I did not have the confidence and my delivery was shaky. But the point is, I did something that practically nobody on the face of the planet would do in High School. I did it! 

It took me an entire week to sum up the courage. I didn't miss the first oppurtunity I got. I was walking out of the Attendance Office, where I spotted her. 

I CAN'T DO IT

I thought to myself as I walked towards the Library. I made a right turn, where I sat on the floor in front of Mr. Browns classroom. She walked into the library, and I was greeted by Nate, who just came out of the library. I said hi and I told him how I needed to talk to this random girl, and how I didn't have the balls. Somewhere along these lines I developed the balls again. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by Stanley, urging me on to convert my bike into a fixie. I ignored him and started walking into the Library, with conviction. 

"Where are you going?" He asked.

I kept on walking, and into the Library I went. I thought I could do it, but once again I didn't have the courage. So I stood for a while until I noticed Stanley again.

"Do it. Do it!" He said, referring to his bike conversion idea.

Not paying any attention to him, the words were urging me on to do something else. Still I didn't do it, so I just sat in a chair by a table ater the bell rung. After careful analysis I realized that she was the librarians aid. It was hilarious to me because she was such a shy, librarian chick type already. At this point, it was too late for escape. She started pushing the chairs back towards the desks, scattered everywhere by carefree 3rd period class. These were the desks by which I was sitting. 

"Do you need any help?"

"No, thanks though" She said, smiling. I didn't expect anyone to be uncomfortable with the fact that someone was offering help. Maybe it was because I was a guy. I don't think guys try to talk to her or anything.

"Wait- could I talk to you real quick?"

I stood up, and walked up to her. At this point, I couldn't go back. My fear skyrocketted. I was sinking inside of my head. But it was too late. I already-

"Uh.. I know that I don't know you... and you don't know me, but... I'd really regret it if I didn't talk to you at all... and I was wondering if you wanted to, uh, get lunch sometime" 

I'm pretty sure I sounded awkward. And I'm positive that my voice was shaking. This was more expected than what came afterwards. 

"Uhm... I don't know... no thanks... It was nice of you to ask...". 

It wasn't the result that baffled me. It was the delivery. Her voice was shaking harder than I was , and she was redder than I could ever become... How do people become this shy? Or did I really do something that outrageous?

I don't think I'm giving it up yet.